tv – Organized Chaos

Welcome to ACNH Anonymous…Take A Seat.

Posted on April 30, 2020April 30, 2020 by jazzyuga

So I wish that I could say that I was able to stay strong.

But, I think that everyone that’s met me can tell that that’s pretty much not who I am.

I spent 24 hours crying over how Veep ended. I can’t sleep at night until my roommates come home because I’m assuming that my loneliness will be broadcasted to every burglar in a 10-mile radius.

And last but least, I am now addicted to Animal Crossing.

Now, before this quarantine started, I was able to proudly say that I didn’t own a Switch and had no intention of buying one. I was able to pass all of the time away by simply reading, something I don’t get to do very often and it’s honestly one of my favorite things to do.

Well, that changed.

And I blame society.

That’s right. I blame all of you heathens reading this that posted about getting a Switch and getting Animal Crossing.

By doing this, I eventually got curious. So then I had to research. And you know what I found?

Not a single bad review about this game. No one regretted buying it. No one was ready to take it back to the stores. And everyone I knew was addicted to it!

My friend bought his girlfriend one, and she happens to be one of my best friends. I never understood what she was doing when she played it.

All I knew was that she was catching these really long fish that looked ridiculous, and she got really excited when she got to go to some place called ‘Tarantula Island’.

Sounds pretty juvenile, right? I mean, at first glance, the game looks like it’s for kids! It’s about animals. It’s basically the same as if Neopets made a comeback. Though I do wonder how all of mine are doing.

Are they struggling like me? Probably.

Anyway, so after my birthday (I am no longer speaking to anyone that didn’t wish me a happy birthday because you literally had nothing else better to do than to sit at home and watch my obnoxious snapchat about it being my birthday. I’m kidding, friends. Or I am? Live in fear.), my roommate and best friend mentioned that she was probably going to get one and I should look into doing the same thing.

I agreed out loud, but in my head, I was screaming ‘no’.

What use did I have for it?

Sure I’m bored, but I have books. And if anyone has ever read a Lisa Jackson book, I can assure you that you’re never bored.

Finally, I decided to play on my friend’s, and it was the worst mistake ever. She let me catch fish, and I was just as bad at it as I am in real life. (At least I don’t have to beg my papa to put the bait on and shriek until someone takes the fish off the line if I ever actually catch one). I also got to see how cute her little person was, and the thing I was most excited about?

Her little person had glasses! Round glasses to be exact. The very ones that I own in real life.

And, that’s it. I was sold. I ordered one and got it a week later, and my life has been a downward spiral ever since.

I say that with the most positive attitude.

But, I’ve been waiting for the days to change so my museum can be built, so my people that I’ve invited can finally get settled into their new homes (after I gathered all the material for these ungrateful animals), and so I can keep traveling to different islands after 7 just HOPING that I get to catch at least ONE tarantula.

So it happened, friends. I am one of you now. Let’s all put our chairs in a circle and discuss where we were in life before this game was invented and where we plan on being after it ends.

You’ll have your chance on the podium, and I’ll bring the donuts.

After I see what Tom Nook needs from me today, of course.

One step at a time…

Social Distancing Isn’t Hard for the Anti-Social

Posted on March 19, 2020March 19, 2020 by jazzyuga

Alright everyone.

I’m not even going to apologize for not writing in almost a month because the world is ENDING.

I’m kidding. But, things are changing hour by hour and it’s INSANITY. At this time last week, I was at work, while complaining about being at work, and my biggest concern was being stressed about turning something in on time.

I also had an open gym that I could go to at will and not have to worry about my poor eating habits.

Today, I AM NO LONGER WORKING AND I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS. TODAY I AM GOING TO GAIN 80 POUNDS.

Anyone that’s ever spent more than a couple of minutes with me should be able to understand while two weeks is way too much time for me to be alone with my thoughts.

At first whenever they said that we didn’t have to come to work, I was elated. I was thinking that I could go to the beach and just have more time to hang out with friends.

BUT now we have to practice this thing called social distancing? I’d like to think that I practice that everyday because I’m not a very outgoing person.

HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE WITH ONLY THEMSELVES EVERYDAY.

There are way too many voices in my head for me to be able to handle all of this solitude. Let’s hope no one has to commit me after all of this is over. Kidding! Or am I?

So let’s find out what I’ve been doing while it’s only day FOUR of this quarantine.

I think my bed is just permanently dented from where I’ve barely gotten out of it. Every single day, I stay in bed until AT LEAST 11 AM. So my sleep schedule will be ALL FOOPED UP when all of this is finally over.

I did finish a book, and that was pretty much the thing I was most excited about for all of this. More time to read equals a happy Jazmyn!

My roommates and I decided to finish Love is Blind, and I am LIVID that we discovered this show before the quarantine and not during it. How am I going to get through this without being able to watch Jessica drunk for the 12th time? Or be weirded out by the fact that Kelly and Kenny’s parents’ names are exactly the same? OR cry about the fact that Lauren and Cameron are ABSOLUTE GOALS?

As someone who has an unhealthy amount of TV shows that she watches, there aren’t many on Netflix that I haven’t conquered yet! So if anyone has any suggestions of shows that I haven’t already seen and obsessed over, feel free to let me know!

I can only watch Infinity War and Endgame one more time before it equals double digits. And even though watching both of those takes half the day away, I think watching Gamora and Iron Man’s deaths this many times isn’t healthy for my psyche.

As if my psyche needs any more obstacles.

But, I digress.

I am staying safe, and I hope everyone else is too. I am still going to the gym, must to my mother’s disappointment.

KRISTAL, IF I DON’T GO, I WILL GAIN 40 POUNDS AND I CAN’T HAVE THAT. I never gained the Freshman 15 when I was in school, and I feel like my time will come if I spend every part of this day being sedentary.

Social distance yourself to a degree!

You don’t have to be completely alone, but at least limit your company, friends!

Let’s hope in 2 weeks that all of this will go back to normal, and we can all go back to being the social butterflies we claim to be.

JUST KIDDING.

Maybe this time off will do us all some good. Maybe we’ll discover something about ourselves.

And maybe it’ll make Jazmyn have to rearrange her birthday plans in 21 days!

Don’t worry; I will 100% find a way to celebrate my birthday, quarantine or not. I know you guys were worried for me.

Stay safe, guys! Please take it seriously and keep your distance! I’m praying for all of us!

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Cute Matching Sweaters

Posted on January 31, 2020January 31, 2020 by jazzyuga

So if you’re not my friend on Facebook or haven’t heard me screeching about it for the past week, I’m telling you now that I finally went to Disneyland!

AND IT WAS AMAZING!

I can tell why people like traveling and going on vacation so much! I was walking on air for the entire week that I was gone, and it felt absolutely amazing. I got to go with friends that I’ve known for a while and even though we started off the trip back in December just a tad odd (i.e. me doing something that I didn’t want to do and then finally letting out what I was frustrated about.)

We got past that, and it got better from there.

On the very first day, we were all working on very little sleep so we basically got through solely on adrenaline. And then what do I realize? My leg from the knee down is completely swollen! Did I mention I did a 5K the night before and worked as well? So my body was basically just hating me for putting it through all of that.

We got a tip from a friend to go to the Observatory. I get to overlook California and see the beautiful sites? Of course. Sign me up!

What that person failed to mention was that you either drive uphill to the Observatory or you get out and walk!

I thought I was going to die walking up that hill, which further proves how out of shape I am. But, the view was great and the pride of being able to tell people that I did it was the great accomplishment!

This is possibly highlighted by the fact that since we drove all the way up there, we were getting up there if I had to ride on someone piggyback!

After we finished that, we even visited the Walk of Fame, which was a journey in and of itself because parking SUCKS.

But, enough about that.

The trip was AMAZING. And I think it had a lot to do with the people that went.

Also, I spent way too much money. No one tells you that when you go on vacation, you are broke by the time that you come back. I used the excuse “Who knows when I’m going to be back here?” as an excuse to buy so many sweet things that I’m surprised my teeth didn’t fall out on the trip, any shirt or hoodie that said ‘Disneyland’, and so much food that it’s a miracle I didn’t gain 20 pounds on that trip.

As if I didn’t understand before, I can see why people enjoy going on vacations so much. I didn’t want to leave, and I certainly didn’t want to come back to work.

There was even one instance where I was texting while walking (it’s a dangerous life I lead, kids), and I ran CLEAN into a trashcan and almost dislocated my kneecap. So what do I do? Immediately started laughing and pretending like running into trashcans is how I stay happy in life.

No one can know that I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed in my entire life. (And that’s coming from someone who spit Coke out on her 4th grade teacher because someone burped in class and was immediately sent to the principal’s office and then deemed “Spit Girl” from that point on.)

And I think my life was made when I got to meet Black Panther, and he didn’t judge me when I just wanted to shout “Wakanda Forever” really loudly. I also met two members of the Dora Milaje, and they both did not have good things to say about the fact that I “had my toes out to meet them” since I was wearing Chacos. They were NOT impressed, and they made sure to tell me that.

AND THAT MOMENT WAS EVERYTHING TO ME.

All in all, that trip was so much fun to the point that I’ve already started planning other trips to go on! And now I finally have a passport! So what’s stopping me from traveling all around the world?

Money

Absolutely nothing!

So, let’s beep beep and start traveling, friends. I’ve got a lot of world to see and no idea how much time I have to do it in. So might as well start now!

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Put Some Stank On It!

Posted on January 11, 2020January 12, 2020 by jazzyuga

I know everyone talks about how important self-care is. And as someone that treats herself to food constantly, I can attest to this.

But, it’s been a while since I’ve actually treated myself. So you know what I did over my weekend?

I got a massage!

And I’m not talking about that weird massage that you and your friends give each other. Or even the massages that you see couples giving each other now and then.

I’m not even talking about the massages that Phoebe Buffay gives.

I am talking about private room, oils, lotions, and relaxing music that makes me have to pee. Yeah, that kind of massage!

Now I was definitely a little nervous going into this because I’ve seen so many movies about massages, mostly importantly The Client List where Jennifer Love Hewitt was certainly giving more than massages in that room.

But, I went anyway! I went thinking that it would be different and that, as much as I’d like to believe otherwise, my life is not a movie.

So it started out like any other massage (this is being said by someone that had never had one before today), and I almost freaked out when the woman told me to remove my clothes.

It’s different when a doctor tells you that because….I don’t even know why I think it’s different, but I don’t flinch when a doctor tells me to get undressed.

But, these people aren’t doctors. I know that they probably see enough bodies that they all just blend in and they really don’t care.

BUT I CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING SO I KNOW THEY’RE GOING TO REMEMBER THE FACT THAT I DIDN’T SHAVE MY LEGS.

These are the things that I think about. She’s also going to remember the fact that I didn’t know where to put my hands.

And did I mention the fact that I just shoved my face into the hole thingy? But my face is too big for the hole so I was basically smothering myself in the blanket.

But, I just laid there quietly because I didn’t want to be rude.

She asked me what pressure I wanted and I didn’t want to say “Well, I really want you to get up in there and don’t stop until all of my knots are gone” so I just told her “Medium.”

The hot stones concerned me because I definitely thought that it was going to be like that scene in Big Momma’s House 2 (or 3, I don’t really remember) where the stones burned her skin.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why is Jazmyn basing all of her knowledge of massages on what she sees in movies?

It could be because I don’t have anything else to base it off of?

Or it could be that I’m insane and this is how I cope. It’s a toss-up really.

So since the hot stones didn’t burn through my skin, I didn’t kick the woman in the face when she massaged my feet, and I didn’t talk or laugh through the silence like I usually do when I’m uncomfortable, let’s call it a success!

So, I’d say that’s a job well done! And ya girl will be getting another one very soon.

AND WE’RE DOING DEEP PRESSURE NEXT TIME.

Also, anyone that gets the reference of the title of this blog, I’ll buy you dinner!

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The Force is {semi} Strong With This One

Posted on July 19, 2019 by jazzyuga

So I’ve got some news for you guys.

I have had some changes in my life since we last spoke. Not only have I transferred from my previous work location, but I have already started at my new work location!

Ladies and gentleman, I have transferred to Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Jazmyn, you know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. Why did you even want to apply?”

And you would be right!

Before a month ago, I had seen Episodes 4, 5, and 6. That was it. And I can promise you that I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened in those movies other than most (not even all) people’s names and Leia and that gold bikini scene (because honestly body goals).

Since I got hired to transfer, I have made it my sole duty to become more knowledgable in all things Star Wars. And I’m doing a pretty darn good job!

My roommate and I have both made it through all of the originals and the prequels and I can definitely see both sides of the spectrum: “The prequels are better” & “The originals are better”.

I honestly don’t have a favorite character, which is odd considering I usually love all of the bad characters. As much as I’d love to be a fan of any character who is dope enough to have James Earl Jones voicing them, Vader just never really did anything for me.

That being said, Jabba was really cool and I am personally a little excited to find out who this Kylo-Ren character is.

Now I know everyone that has some type of Star Wars experience is probably rolling their eyes right now at my knowledge, and I don’t even blame you.

But, here’s the good thing about Disney. You don’t need to be an expert about any Disney-ish topic to work here!

(Let’s be honest; if this were a rule, I would’ve been fired a long time ago)

So that’s the great thing. Even though I am currently getting ready to start The Force Awakens (spoiler alert: my old boss already ruined the ending for me but I’m not bitter about that at all. NOT BITTER), there’s no requirement that I need to be a Star Wars expert to be here.

And that’s great! Because I most certainly am not. To be honest, the only thing that I can work at without any doubt of being completely knowledgable all of the information is either FRIENDS, the Lion King, or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

So, that’s it, folks!

Galaxy’s Edge is clearly not open yet, but in a little over a month, it definitely will be and the floodgates will be open!

So everyone should prepare themselves! Star Wars has itself a new fan now.

(But I’ll watch anything where I can stare at Hayden Christensen all day long)

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They Can’t Brush Their Teeth

Posted on December 12, 2018December 12, 2018 by jazzyuga

I have witnessed a crime everyone, and I’d like to report myself.

That’s right. I, Jazmyn, have recently discovered the wonder and humor that is Brooklyn Nine Nine, and there’s no turning back.

I’ve always been in love with Andy Samberg since he was in The Lonely Island, and it’s great seeing him actually act in something.

And, it’s even better that he is actually HILARIOUS.

I’m not a fan of any singer also trying to act, especially if it’s Beyonce.

I’m sorry for anyone into her; homegirl is dope. But she cannot act.

ANYWAY.

Terry Crews is hilarious, and I thought he had done his best in White Chicks while he was turning out the sun. But, somehow he got better.

How does everyone not want to be Rosa’s best friend?

And Santiago? If she and Jake don’t end up together, I’m fighting SOMEONE. Their little fake date that they had where you could low-key tell that Jake was enjoying IT? Um, I’m not saying that it had to be foreshadowing, but it most certainly has to or there is no good in the world.

I’m currently breezing through it and there’s no stopping me. It is my absolute goal to finish the entire series before the new year starts so I can watch the new season that’s coming on.

But COME ON.

How has no one told me about the beauty of this show before now? How has no one told me how hilarious it is? I could’ve been yelling “Nine Nine” for no specific reason for years before now!

And don’t even get me started on the captain. I have never met someone I wanted to be friends with that has zero emotion.

Anyone that knows me know that if it’s anything that I have too much of, it’s emotion (perks of me being emotionally unstable). So the fact that I actually enjoy the captain, his sayings, and his facial expressions is actually pretty interesting.

I just finished the first season this morning, and if I could afford to take vacation days off work for the next week to finish watching this series, I most certainly would. And I sincerely hope that none of my bosses are reading this.

So I’m going to continue enjoying Gina insulting Boyle, Rosa’s surprise smile every now and then, and Terry’s spontaneous outbursts.

NINE NINE

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Now Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Programming…

Posted on November 19, 2018November 19, 2018 by jazzyuga

As much as I’d like to say that I don’t have time to watch TV….I will say that and I abide by it. But, I do make the time.a

Image result for watching tv shows memes

I mean, even when Grey’s Anatomy is going on its 26th season, ya girl will still be watching it on my fire stick the day after.

But now comes the time that I hate. It’s the time for all of the shows that premiered in August and September to go back on hiatus until the new year comes. Just hearing the phrase “new year” just makes it feel like forever away even though November is basically over and I swear October didn’t happen.

You’d think that I would be excited for the break from endless catching up on TV shows that I’ve been watching for far too long anyway. You’d think that I’d welcome the ability to come home and go right to sleep instead of turning on my TV and trying to figure out just how many shows I’ve missed since the last time that I watched it.

It should be quite the relief, but I am not looking forward to it.

Not being able to watch Jack Pearson embody every thing that I want in my future husband? Except for the not being real part…

Not being able to cry myself into dehydration at the end of Grey’s Anatomy because yet ANOTHER person on that show has a terminal illness?

Are you telling me I’m not longer to have the chance to enjoy Frank on Shameless and Frank on Always Sunny?

No, that can’t possibly be true!

I’m kidding. It’s not nearly as dramatic as I’m making it seem.

But it is kind of a big deal.

If I were still in school, I’d be rejoicing because if all of my shows are off, then I have more time to focus on school.

BUT ALAS I am no longer in school, and that’s just going to give me more time to what?

Clean? Do laundry?

Come on, let’s be serious now.

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The Nightmare Before What Now?

Posted on October 4, 2018October 4, 2018 by jazzyuga

As we all can tell, I’m not keeping up with these as well I should be.

And I’ll be honest, I’m not going to take full blame for it. Ya girl has a full time job and is considering going back to school so I think I get somewhat of a pass on this.

I did manage to watch another movie on the list though, and it wasn’t the best.

It was The Nightmare Before Christmas, and I had always put off seeing this movie because I just assumed that it was going to be scary. And while it wasn’t a walk in the park, it most certainly wasn’t scary.

I do feel like skeletons for a kid’s movie are a little much, but who am I to speak for all of the children? And honestly, I was confused the entire movie.

They were stuck in Halloween in the beginning of the movie but for some odd reason, it’s titled “The Nightmare Before Christmas”? I’m a huge fan of Christmas and even this threw me for a loop.

Jack Skeleton was pretty dope and the Sally girl that pulled off her arm just to get away from that creepy guy in the wheelchair, A+ girl.

I don’t wanna rain on anyone’s parade, but I wasn’t really a fan of this movie at all. It might be partially because I was just a tad distracted during it.

BUT there is one thing I can definitely agree with for Jack. I prefer Christmas over Halloween any day. Didn’t it just seem happier whenever he switched over from Halloween to Christmas? So much more upbeat.

I’m super biased because Christmas is amazing, but don’t let that stop you from living your life.

Also whenever he was assigning jobs, I would most certainly have rocked the job of the caroler. Singing songs for people without caring if they want to hear it or not? Sounds like my entire life honestly.

And I love his idea of gifts that basically terrified the public. Whether or not they loved them or not, they didn’t, he had fun doing it.

BUT THEN PLOT TWIST, he loves Halloween again. And then Santa is actually for the idea of him going back to Halloween? Come on, Santa. Don’t be a traitor.

I know Oogie Boogie did a real number on you, but stay true to your roots, homie.

And everything worked out for Sally, right? A man that she barely knew and professed her love for eventually loved her as well and then they got to celebrate with Halloween and Christmas?!

I don’t know about you, but it sounds like my fairytale waiting to happen.

Also, I want Oogie Boogie to be my new best friend. Though he did try to kill Santa so I’m going to have to get past that first.

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Everyone Can Cook (Except Linguini); Sorry Homie

Posted on February 23, 2018February 23, 2018 by jazzyuga

Another one has come and gone.

I have watched another movie on the list.

Ratatouille!

And the funny thing is? I’ve definitely already seen it before yet I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened before three days ago. Of course everyone knows that the movie is about some rat that can cook really well (definitely better than me), but that’s as far as my knowledge of the movie went.

But, it was dope!

I didn’t really know what to expect after it started because once that scene with all of the rats scurrying out happened, I was a little on edge (because naturally I was picturing the rats crawling all over my body).

And the sewer scene? Gross. But, am I the only person who thought that that the scene reminded them a lot of Rush Hour? I can’t be the only one, right?

Anyway…

Now I wish that a rat could be in my hair making all of my meals for me. Some of the spices that he was throwing in there…I wouldn’t have even thought to touch them.

And he had that trusty old chef man’s spirit in his thoughts so he clearly wasn’t going to fail.

But now the odds are against him because that Edward Cullen look-a-like is going to review the restaurant again.

What kind of name is ‘Ego’ anyway? And how do they decide who gets the jobs?

Is it like a Guy Fiery thing? What did these lucky people do in a previous life where they get to go around and eat other people’s foods and past judgement on it? HOW?

If it’s just a simple matter of putting an application in, well then I will put in five right now. If you have to have food experience first, well let me tell you, I have plenty!

Just don’t ask me to define ‘plenty’.

But, back to the matter at hand. About an hour into the movie, I did figure out that Linguini boy was his son. I felt like it was a pretty obvious fact that that is a testament to the fact that cooking skills aren’t always hereditary (sorry Mama).

And I knew that old short man was going to try and prove otherwise, but here Remy comes in clutch! He steals all of the evidence and suddenly it’s public knowledge.

YAY. Everything is saved! Well, not everything. But at least that brooding dark-haired girl and Linguini were officially a thing and now he is the owner. But, he still can’t cook and the restaurant did end up getting closed down because of their “minor” pest problem (there were so many rats, it made the New York subway system look bad).

And now there’s a new restaurant and it’s called, you guessed it…RATATOUILLE.

Who here thought that that was the Remy’s name before you saw the actual movie? Come on, don’t be shy.

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I’d Prefer the One With Chad Michael Murray

Posted on January 26, 2018February 11, 2018 by jazzyuga

So I finished another one off the list.

Relatively quickly this time! And it was a very famous one.

Guess which one it was?

Wait for it…it’s Cinderella.

And let me tell you, it was very…underwhelming.

I’m not sure what it was. Maybe it was the fact that I’ve seen so many other versions of Cinderella such as A Cinderella Story, Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, and Ella Enchanted (I love that movie solely because of the fact that it was first released on my birthday). But since those movies were all pretty good for the most part, I had high hopes for Cinderella.

I’m not gonna say I was disappointed, but I certainly wasn’t extremely satisfied.

It wasn’t bad by any means, I wouldn’t expect a Disney classic to be so, but since I’ve already seen so many live-action versions, that’s basically what I was expecting.

I felt like I saw the father maybe once throughout the beginning even though I know he wasn’t really supposed to be a huge character in the movie. The step sisters were obnoxious like they were supposed to be, and the step-mom was annoyingly rude…like she was also supposed to be.

So why do I feel like they did it wrong?

One thing that really bothered me was how quickly she and the prince hit it off. They had already been dancing for like a solid 45 seconds before they even spoke a word to each other.

Granted, if I was in Chris Evans’s presence for more than 45 seconds, I doubt I’d be able to form words either so I can’t fault them too much for that. (This prince was no Chris Evans but that’s not what this post is about)

Next thing, how in the world did slipping a shoe onto every woman’s foot find him his princess? If homegirl was a size five (cause that glass slipper looked like a child’s), I know there are other people in the world with the same size foot. And yet he just happened to find her so soon before anyone else with a size five foot could try it on?

I call sabotage!

Okay, I’m not actually that invested in it, but you catch my drift.

I think the biggest reason why I won’t be putting it on my favorite movies list is because it lacked humor.

If you’ve ever spent more than a couple of minutes with me, you’ll know that I like to laugh. Actually I love to laugh, and it’s pretty easy to make me laugh (I’m a big fan of cheesy things). This movie was not a movie for me to laugh during and I missed that.

Was it a good romance movie?

Sure.

Was it a lovely movie for animation?

Absolutely.

Would I watch it again as anything other than background noise?

That’s a negative, Commander.

Don’t hate me for this if it happens to your favorite movie. If you gave me A Cinderella Story (because pure Hilary Duff and overly-gorgeous Chad Michael Murray is just a great combination), I’d watch it in a heartbeat. But not this.

I had to have at least one miss on this list, right?

Sorry, Cinderella. Your dress looked bomb though. You better work it, girl.